Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Update on Olive

Mom's FB update at 10:30ish am central time:

Baby Olive had a quiet peaceful day. We cried with the neurosurgeon and neonatal Doctor in a meeting in all Thai Language. Lynette was our interpreter. Olive is back on colostrum and we decided to give her more touch. We also asked Lynette to take a much needed rest. Tonight she held Olive against her skin before she went home for the night.


And a poem Lynette posted:

Like The Water by Wendell Berry

Like the water
of a deep stream,
love is always too much.
We did not make it.
Though we drink till we burst,
we cannot have it all,
or want it all.
In its abundance
it survives our thirst.

In the evening we come down to the shore
to drink our fill,
and sleep,
while it flows
through the regions of the dark.
It does not hold us,
except we keep returning to its rich waters
We enter,
willing to die,
into the commonwealth of its joy.


Here I am, crying again. Feeling emotional. For hurts that I cannot heal, problems that I cannot fix. Lynette was 3 weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy, both of us with girls. I can't put into words how I feel - the guilt I have for still being pregnant, knowing that my dear sister is hurting, and needing to be so strong, and just the heartbreak of it all.

Even people who don't know Lynette and Rusty have expressed their love, have been praying and showing incredible care and concern... and I think we are connected by our understanding of the intensity of the love between a parent and a child that begins even before their birth, and is amplified the minute we hold them in our arms. I have been so touched by the outpouring of love and support.

1 comment:

Deb said...

You and your whole family are in my thoughts and prayers. I hadn't made the connection that you and Lynette's pregnancies were so close together. I can understand your feelings of guilt, no matter how irrational they may be. I will pray that you will be able to delight in your child even as you cry for Olive Hope. For even though these feelings are contradictory, they are right and true.