worries

Tyler has told me several different times, in a concerned voice, that he doesn't want me to die. Today he told me that he doesn't want to die. (Which is progress, because not that long ago, he told me he wanted to die so he could see God). :)

I don't know if it has anything to do with my Grandpa David dying, but for whatever reason, he is trying to understand this whole living and dying thing. I try to reassure him, realistically (I don't say "you won't die", more like "you're healthy, you'll probably live a long, long time.)"

Last November, I started trying to walk daily because I had noticed an irregular heart beat, and it scared me. I started thinking about how I needed to take better care of myself because I don't want Tyler to have to grow up without a mom. (I needed to do this anyway, and I'm happy to say that my heart rate seems normal again).

When I was young, I remember worrying often about my parents dying. I'm not sure where it came from, other than my seemingly anxious personality - I don't know other kids who thought about that. I don't recall talking about worries about any of us dying, but I wonder if he is picking up on my fears. Maybe I'm just thinking too much about it! (While I'm sitting here, Tyler just came up to me, "Mommy, I love you. I want you to stay alive all day."). :)


Random side note:
This morning, I was on the phone and was trying to quickly explain to Tyler that he couldn't do something. Without really thinking about it, I finished by saying, "I know, you hate me."
He looked down, and in a serious tone said, "well, I like you, but..."
I laughed - I probably need to drop figures of speech. :0)

Black Widow

We were cleaning out our garage a couple of days ago and discovered this big black widow spider. It was very big, though it's kind of hard to tell from the pictures. I was feeling like a wimp because I asked him to come out to take care of it, but after his reaction (surprise and caution), I was glad I had.

Wayne caught it and put it in a jar. He pulled it out to see it put out webbing, then back into the jar. We released it by the side of the road (across town) last night.

I was trying to take a picture of the red hourglass on it's underside - but I was scared to get too close - so it's out of focus.

Parenting

Wayne and I read this parenting article when we were in Indiana (from Mom and Dad's copy of US News and World Report). Wayne really loved it. For those of you who are interested, read on. If not, disregard! In any case, I think I'll have a copy available at school during the coming year.

For the record, I am not a perfect parent nor expect that I will be...so don't watch too closely the next time we're together. :)

p.s.

I should have added to my last post - it appears I need to stop talking about my weight in front of Tyler... Or at least be prepared (as I was, as I found it amusing) for him to try to figure out what I'm talking about by asking me not so nice questions. :)

Fat

Tyler just asked me, "Mommy, why are you fat?"
Gee, thanks! (He then said, "fat is nice." but then asked again why I am fat). :)

No kissing

We went to a pet store today to buy some new fish. While we were there, I asked Tyler if I could have a kiss.

"Wait until we get home. Wait until we are inside at home." :)

Adjusting...

I've been trying to adjust to being back at home, in Kansas that is. Leaving home in Indiana was hard, harder than it's been since we moved out here nearly 6 years ago. On Wednesday, I walked around in a daze, looking at all the work and organizing to do, but I had no energy or motivation to do much of anything. I even took a nap, which is rare for me. Finally, I drank some coffee and got some things done. I decided that either I'm sad because I'm missing home, or I am caffeine addicted. I was hoping it was caffeine addiction, but since I felt the same way the next morning, I decided that it's probably a little of both. But it is all worth it! And, I'm happy to say that as I've been reconnecting here, it's been getting better.

Several times on Wednesday and Thursday, Tyler brought me his play green beans. He told me that it is "energy food that makes you feel better when you're sad." My sweet young man!

We have spent time with our friends, the Jabergs, every day but the 4th. Pat has taken a week of vacation, so they are in vacation-mode. We have eaten out, gone swimming and shopping. That has been a lot of fun.

On the 4th, I got to talk to my sister which cheered me up. Later, Wayne's parents, Ted and Sue, came down to Wichita. We enjoyed dinner at Abuelo's and then gelato at Chill for dessert. Yummy!! We got to play dominoes and watch fireworks in the neighborhood. That was a good day and the start to really feeling more like myself again.

Tyler has been happy to be home to play with his toys. I don't remember his play room being such a mess before. His Thomas the Train track and engines have been spread out all over the living room floor since we've been home.

The Mimosa - formerly "the twig" - has been growing leaves while I was away.

Yesterday, I weeded a very small section of landscaping in the back which took 3 hours. Yes, aunt Kathy, you spent 3 hours in your garden. I spent three hours in a relatively tiny patch of earth. It. Was. Bad. We have a mound of dirt under the deck that we need to dispose of somehow. The weeds had grown so thick on it (and spread into my flower bed) that a family of bunnies had made it their nest. Apparently the marigolds alone couldn't fend the bunnies off. They had chewed my lilies down to the stalks again. So, I decided I had to weed the dirt pile to get rid of bunnies' nest, and weed the rest because it was driving me bonkers. It looks much better...at least for now.

Last Day

On Sunday, we had a Yoder reunion. I haven't been to a reunion in many years because of not having enough vacation time. I am very thankful that I was able to attend. Unfortunately, I didn't take any pictures. We had to say goodbye to Lynette and Rusty, which was very hard. They are going to Thailand for at least 2 years. I've been excited for them because they can't wait to go, but it was still very sad to say goodbye.

Monday morning, I took Mom to Goshen Hospital for her colonoscopy and everything checked out well. While she rested, we had lunch with Dad. Soon, though, Mom woke up and wanted to go bowling - which was fun, even though I'm terrible. On the way home, we swung by my uncle JR's and saw their house - which they've lived in for 5 years, but I have not yet seen. We also met their bunnies and goat, Bertha. Tyler especially enjoyed feeding the bunnies. We headed home and had a Gator ride to the Das Dutchman Essenhaus for dinner. The final activity that Dad had planned but we hadn't yet done was to set a bonfire. So, we bundled up (it was cold)! and headed out to the pasture.

Wayne and Dad with their gasoline, oil and lighters...

The blaze.

We left Tuesday morning and had a 14 hour trip home. It was hard to leave. Being home, seeing people, being with family was wonderful! It was busy and we did a lot, and I'm very thankful for the time we had together. During our month or so together, Dad often repeated "to the sweet, young, man!" to Tyler. Tyler usually pretended not to notice and hadn't said anything about it. At a rest stop, we were getting back into the car and out of nowhere he said "to the sweet, young man!" and smiled. That stinker is paying attention.

At a rest stop when he had to go #2, I asked whether he had gone the day before. He said, "I drank a root beer float and when I drink root beer I have to poop. Today I drank root beer and saved my poop for this day." (We had stopped at an A&W for lunch).

When we were almost home, (We had watched Shrek) Tyler said "there's a real dragon!" Wayne asked him what it means when something is real. Tyler explained, "If there's a real dragon, then call someone who has a gun and tell them to get the ladder and to attack the dragon. Tell him to do target shooting and the dragon will be dead, into death. Wait!? That's the right word."

Also, a couple of times recently, Tyler has told me, "You're breaking my heart" and

"How many times do I have to tell you?" (When he has repeated himself). Stinker.

Turtle

Dad found this turtle wobbling along on their driveway. Isn't it cute?

Last Saturday, June 28, was my cousin, Elizabeth Schrock's wedding to Kyle Spangle. It was a beautiful outdoor wedding.

Some of the Yoder family.

Maury and Melissa


Katrina and daughter, Kylie

Liz and her dad, Dan

Liz and Kyle!

Grandpa and Grandma, Henry and Polly

Grandma Polly even got out on the dance floor for a little bit. We loved it!

Liz dancing with Brennan and Tyler (during the dollar dance). :)

Tyler and Brennan "dancing" (or running in circles).